The End of the Story

Why I like to read, in one quote. The following quote is (more or less) from The Lord of the Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien. 

"We don’t know the end of the story, we don’t even know the end of our own story.  This should give us comfort." When someone we love is making bad decisions, we don’t know the end of the story. When we lose a job or lose a relationship, we don’t know the end of the story. We may feel like there is no hope, but in looking back at history, or even in looking at literature, sometimes the time with little hope is only the dark spot before the end of the story, and things will improve. I got this idea from watching a series of videos by a man reading The Lord of the Rings for the first time. This is my favorite book series in the whole world, having read them I don’t even know how many times. J.R.R.  Tolkien excels at making us feel like all hope is lost, before turning the tide and bringing victory or rescue.  Also I enjoy Star Trek, all of the series and story lines. Many times one character will be lost and in danger, and have to fight to rescue themselves, and they do so with the hope the crew is also working to rescue them. I guess the message is never give up hope, never stop trying. Last night we watched an episode of the newest Star Trek, and in this story one character was lost on an asteroid, stranded in danger with an enemy as the only other survivor. . She kept working to escape, to get a message to her crew, and she kept saying, “They are searching for me, I just have to let them know where I am.”  It was true, and in the end she was rescued, because she figured out how to let the crew know where she was. Why am I writing about this? I believe this is how we get through life. We believe things will get better, we believe that even though we can’t see the end of the story we know it is there. We hope that both ourselves, and others, are fighting to make the world a better place, even if we can’t see it at the moment. Looking at history we can see times when the future looked bleak, but slowly we come out of the bleak times.

 

I’m not trying to be naive, it is true that sometimes the end of the story is a bad ending. I have read enough books to know many have sad or tragic endings. But, as long as we are moving forward, we don’t know how our ending will be, and so, when unknown, the ending can be anything, 

So far my walks this time period have been much longer and nicer. Twice we walked at Wheeler Wildlife, and enjoyed seeing birds of all types. Pelicans have arrived, and they fly in large groups before landing in the water to feed. I watched an egret until he flew out farther into the water. Another day I walked on what we call the Truck trail, where I saw lots of butterflies and moths, but not many birds. My favorite walk was at 7 Island Bird Park in TN, a beautiful place that feels rugged and isolated but isn’t far from Knoxville.  The bird feeders at the front of the park were busy, and the walk to the river was straight. I turned off the main trail and once in among the trees I found a deer. She watched me as I watched her. Finally she ran off and I continued. I meandered all over the park, and at the end I followed a trail up to the highest section of the park. I climbed up through the woods, and at the top of the hill turned to a clearing, to find a mother deer and two young ones. The mom kept an eye on me, and flicked her white tail nervously, but one of the youngsters was very curious, and he or she really wanted to know what I was. The mom and other kiddo would move away, but the curious one stayed closer, watching me. Finally mom took off through the brush, and her two youngsters followed her out of sight. I kept walking, enjoying monarchs, and goldenrod, and many other blooming fall flowers. It was a perfect evening and a wonderful hike. If I ever disappear, I am probably living there, deep in the woods with the deer.  I joke about that, but sometimes I hope the end of my story involves wilderness and peace on a mountain. 

Slow walking and beauty in nature

 

                                                   Beauty and Sadness

This month has been a slow walking month.  We have seen the passing of life, and the adding of life. My mother in law passed away, and my newest grandson arrived. In the midst of all this my walking has taken a back seat.  One day while the family was hanging out at the hospital after the birth of the baby, I took my 3 year old grandson exploring. We walked down a hallway of the labor and delivery and found a huge window overlooking a water fountain. His eyes lit up and we stood at the window for a long time watching people wander in and out of the doorway. Finally we couldn’t stand being inside anymore, and we found the elevator and worked our way outside. We walked over to a garden area, and he explored around the bushes, walking on the mulch. He found a few smooth painted rocks. He said he was farming, and began trying to dig, but the ground was too hard. Playing outside after a long day waiting for baby brother to arrive was just the right thing to do. For a couple of days after the birth, my daughter and I would sit outside with the two kids, the newborn and the 3 year old, and just hang out. We sat in the shade, with snacks, water, diapers and wipes, and we played, or nursed and relaxed. A little outside time helped with the newborn jaundice, and gave the older brother a place to run and be loud.

After being away from home, it was nice to explore my own neighborhood and to enjoy my yard again. Fall is the only time Alabama is perfectly comfortable, and so I am trying to sit outside some every day. My dog and I walked our normal pathway, but we did it in reverse. Somehow the views are very different, and feel new. 

 I am struggling to not be overwhelmed with the news. I find our time that we are living in right now very depressing. I know our country has been through hard times before, and I hope our good generous spirit will overcome the angry revengeful leadership we have now. Running some errands today I listened to a podcast, and the hosts talked about a miner strike in Colorado during the depression. The mining company evicted the miners and their families from the company provided homes, so they had to move into tents. The national guard was called, and shots were fired, killing several people including a 12 year old boy. The miners were mostly striking for safer working conditions, and for this the National Guard was brought in. I used to live in West Virginia, and that state has a history of miners striking and government retaliating as well. We have been through the Civil War, Indian removals, wars and massacres, violence due to people fighting for civil rights, violence due to children daring to attend “all white” schools, and violence against those that are gay or trans. Our history is full of times of cruelty against those that are in weaker positions. Although people talk about how all the things we are going through right now aren’t normal, that isn’t entirely true. Maybe what we should say is that the times we are going through should not be normal. In a time when science can know so much, why is it that so many people don’t understand it, and don’t trust the knowledge they gain. Why do we fear vaccines, when these very vaccines save lives every day. Hopefully these problems are still growing pains. I see post after post making me think most people have given up, and making me feel the same. Scrolling online just increases the feeling of doom, of hopelessness. We all want and need to know what is going on, and to know what we can do, but we must avoid drowning in despair. When I am discouraged, or in despair, I go to the woods. Sometimes I just go to the yard, and stand under a tree. I stand under my magnolia tree, watch the birds, and listen to the breeze. Right now I am watching a cardinal that is resting on a hickory tree, waiting for me to stop writing and refill the bird feeder. There is nothing so bad that a few minutes in whatever tiny spec of nature we can find can’t help. My grandson farming in the hospital landscaping, and me writing under a tree, my daughter resting in her yard, it is all the same. We are soaking up some beauty from the sun, from the wind and from the sounds of life around us.  Sometimes life is hard and sometimes it is beautiful, and sometimes those things are both true at the same time. 

I walked a whopping total of 10 miles these two weeks, putting me at 370 miles along the trail.  I am one mile from the Cherry Gap Shelter in TN.  Slowly I keep moving, along the trail and through my days.